10 More Reasons You Should Not Hire Me

This is another 10 Reasons why I should not be hired by an employer.

My Blackmailing Skills.
If hired, I would have an affair with the Boss.When they call time on the affair I will black mail them into giving me a higher position.

My New Letterheads.
I will photocopy areas of myself best left unseen. I will then used this as my new letterheads which I will send out to everyone.

My Respect For My Boss.
I will call everyone higher then me as “Bubblecakes” male or female, am not sexist.

My Contributions.
Any contributions am asked to make will always be 2 dead bees, a flying monkey and a pint of blood. Be this for a leaving present or a group disscussion.

My Interaction With Other People.
I will see them as my playthings for I am lord and master of this place you call Earth.

My Work
In every project I work on, somewhere I will place a very small picture of a Gummi Bear

My Dress Sense
If you were to ever have dress down Friday. I would come in naked expect for a bow tie and a smile.

My Fears.
I will remind you every time you send an e-mail that Skynet has logged it and will use it against you when it enslaves humanity.

My Slide Into Madness.
Remeber the boat scene from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. That is what the slide is expect it’s 50 ft and attachs to fire escapes and is 100% non toxic.

My Friend
If a deadline is looming and I haven’t done something, Its because my friend was suppose to do it for me. His name is Harvey he’s a 6ft white rabbit.

10 Reasons Why You Should Not Hire Me.

I applyed for a job as a rail travel consult. Which is basicly booking train tickets for rich people to travel first class who are too lazy to use the internet. Which was my entire application and my cv thrown in there for good measure.
I recevied the quickest rejection letter in the history of my job seeking histroy. With the letter citing 5 reasons why I was not going to be asked for an interview. The main big one being

" You don't have full understanding of a computer system used to book train tickets "

I do its called the network rail site, I type in where am going where I want to get to. I've used it to get to Wales, to get to London, planned a trip to Long Eaton. It's not that hard. Not to be dishearted by this and amused by the childish feel of the letter I wrote my own list of 10 reasons why I should not be employed by anyone.

Reason 1:

My Own Safety.
20 % of the Skelmersdale work force is unemployed. That is 2,000 people who would be infuriated if I was hired.

Reason 2:
My Collection.
You will be adding to my collection of rejection letters. It is less embarrassing then a stamp collection.

Reason 3:
My Pets.
Employment will hamper the creation of the Blue Flying Monkeys. Wings of an Eagle, body of a Gorilla and the physics of a Bumble Bee.

Reason4:
My Caffine Addiction.
My blood is 50% coffee. Hiring me will double what you spend on coffee.

Reason 5:
My True Love.
I am in love with my JSA advisor. Everytime I go in and she looks at me with that contempt and pity in her eyes it sends tingles down my spine. Would you really rob me of that ?

Reason 6:
My Tan.
When the sun shines down and you wish you where in a beer garden. I am. I am sat there spending your tax money on Salt and Vinegar crisps and working on my tan.

Reason 7:
My Career as a Ninja.
When unemployed for a certain time, I will sent on a Job Centre retraining course to aid me for employment. I am hoping they train me as a ninja.

Reason 8:
My Interests.
Jeremy Kyle and This Morning, a human circus follwed by a light topical news show. What better way is there to start ones day.

Reason 9:
My Family.
My family love seeing me each day as I do them.

Reason 10 :
My Hobby.
Not working means I can stalk Megan Fox via the internet all day.

Some new stuff

In desending order, Batman cover, not sure if i posted this before, but I like that much it deserves a second posting, The middle, is a rough design, now I don't like posting roughs but am very happy with this, Its something new am trying so I'd though I'd post it. The last image is for a company who's selling Dog water. Yes Dog water. a simple illustration there is a back to it. which I'll post up later, as its getting turned into a A3 poster around Liverpool. So am going to hunt it down and Have my photo took next to it. Have fun kiddies. El Daveo

Design's

This is the alien design. With a bone armour, to make sure any hits from the top are protected. It has bone scythes attached to powerful arms. This version of the alien evolved from a subterranean creature that travelled underground. As you can see from the picture on the right, it pops up and dives back down again. As if the soil and earth were just water and it was a fish. But as it grows, numerous things will happen to it.





The robot isn't up yet, quite simplely its the most chanellging thing I've had to design. It starts off from a sphere, think the droids from star wars that roll around all the time. With the battle biped droids, but as it is a sporting event maybe the robot is under a pentely? Hence its starting phase its smaller then that of the alien.


This is the dectivie. There are plenty of other designs I did for him, but this I feel reflects who he is the best.

Photoshopped Like a Monkey

These are three images I have been working on, its for a web comic I want to try and upload onto blogger and be able to download in PDF. They have been photoshoped quite a bit, using bitmaps and halftone screens and distressed effects. The middle picture and the last picture, I am still not sure which one works well seen as I like both. The middle picture does fit in with the cover, but the last one is much clear, ho hum. I'll suppose it'll be a moment of zen when I start work on the others and see which style fits in.
Anyway its the weekend enjoy the bank hoilday goodness, The man on the TV says it will be a scorcher, so dig out cheesey movies, Me thinks it will rain.