10 Reasons Why You Should Not Hire Me.

I applyed for a job as a rail travel consult. Which is basicly booking train tickets for rich people to travel first class who are too lazy to use the internet. Which was my entire application and my cv thrown in there for good measure.
I recevied the quickest rejection letter in the history of my job seeking histroy. With the letter citing 5 reasons why I was not going to be asked for an interview. The main big one being

" You don't have full understanding of a computer system used to book train tickets "

I do its called the network rail site, I type in where am going where I want to get to. I've used it to get to Wales, to get to London, planned a trip to Long Eaton. It's not that hard. Not to be dishearted by this and amused by the childish feel of the letter I wrote my own list of 10 reasons why I should not be employed by anyone.

Reason 1:

My Own Safety.
20 % of the Skelmersdale work force is unemployed. That is 2,000 people who would be infuriated if I was hired.

Reason 2:
My Collection.
You will be adding to my collection of rejection letters. It is less embarrassing then a stamp collection.

Reason 3:
My Pets.
Employment will hamper the creation of the Blue Flying Monkeys. Wings of an Eagle, body of a Gorilla and the physics of a Bumble Bee.

Reason4:
My Caffine Addiction.
My blood is 50% coffee. Hiring me will double what you spend on coffee.

Reason 5:
My True Love.
I am in love with my JSA advisor. Everytime I go in and she looks at me with that contempt and pity in her eyes it sends tingles down my spine. Would you really rob me of that ?

Reason 6:
My Tan.
When the sun shines down and you wish you where in a beer garden. I am. I am sat there spending your tax money on Salt and Vinegar crisps and working on my tan.

Reason 7:
My Career as a Ninja.
When unemployed for a certain time, I will sent on a Job Centre retraining course to aid me for employment. I am hoping they train me as a ninja.

Reason 8:
My Interests.
Jeremy Kyle and This Morning, a human circus follwed by a light topical news show. What better way is there to start ones day.

Reason 9:
My Family.
My family love seeing me each day as I do them.

Reason 10 :
My Hobby.
Not working means I can stalk Megan Fox via the internet all day.