10 More Reasons You Should Not Hire Me

This is another 10 Reasons why I should not be hired by an employer.

My Blackmailing Skills.
If hired, I would have an affair with the Boss.When they call time on the affair I will black mail them into giving me a higher position.

My New Letterheads.
I will photocopy areas of myself best left unseen. I will then used this as my new letterheads which I will send out to everyone.

My Respect For My Boss.
I will call everyone higher then me as “Bubblecakes” male or female, am not sexist.

My Contributions.
Any contributions am asked to make will always be 2 dead bees, a flying monkey and a pint of blood. Be this for a leaving present or a group disscussion.

My Interaction With Other People.
I will see them as my playthings for I am lord and master of this place you call Earth.

My Work
In every project I work on, somewhere I will place a very small picture of a Gummi Bear

My Dress Sense
If you were to ever have dress down Friday. I would come in naked expect for a bow tie and a smile.

My Fears.
I will remind you every time you send an e-mail that Skynet has logged it and will use it against you when it enslaves humanity.

My Slide Into Madness.
Remeber the boat scene from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. That is what the slide is expect it’s 50 ft and attachs to fire escapes and is 100% non toxic.

My Friend
If a deadline is looming and I haven’t done something, Its because my friend was suppose to do it for me. His name is Harvey he’s a 6ft white rabbit.